dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
