I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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