he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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