Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
