i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
