After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
