Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
