Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
