Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
