I just made out with a guy for $7.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
