He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
