My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
