i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
