girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Success! We fucked roommates!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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