I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
