Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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