Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm too high and old for this...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
