been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
