I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
