who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
