he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
