I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
