Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
