I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
