Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
