Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My life is pants optional.
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