adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
