I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Who did Billy Mays play for?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
