It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
