would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't deserve a penis
i think i just lost a toe
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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