whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
