When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How does one acquire holy water?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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