he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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