babies were throwing up all over the place
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
