My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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