He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize