im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
