I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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