We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
