YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
