i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
