just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
