I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
