super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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