He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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