Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
