OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
