You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
