can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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