Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize