Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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