Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
