He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
