is your mom at the bar?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
