I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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