Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
