Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
