as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
