I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
