Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
