Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
