I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
