A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
