just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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