yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize