Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
