There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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