My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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