I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
