id be glad to
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
