why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize