Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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